Developmental Editing Sample:
Comments Labeled 1-4 (Top to Bottom)
(1) The draft shifted between narrative perspectives, which created confusion for the reader. I advised the client to maintain a single narrative perspective.
(2) The client utilized an effective worldbuilding element in the creation of wizards’ and witches’ staffs. I brought the element to the client’s attention as a positive because it added a personal depth that made the world feel more “lived in.”
(3) Niha (the Main Character) was a Numbered, an entity so powerful that her birth caused a cataclysmic flood. She was gifted a staff by the Grand Castor (the Village Elder) three years earlier than her peers due to her prowess, but she was unable to cast magic effectively upon receiving the staff. I alerted the client that the MC’s reaction to this failure was underwhelming.
(4) The MC was an alternative race in a Fantasy setting where humans played the role of invaders. I advised the client that if we were to retain that element of the story, we would need to invest a significant amount of time developing the alternative race’s culture, belief systems, hierarchies, and so on, as a means to lend believability and depth to the race for the reader.
Line Editing Sample:
Comments Labeled 1-4 (Top to Bottom)
(1) The use of alliteration adds literary credence to the work while keeping the author’s voice a priority.
(2) Moving the dialogue tag elevated the emphasis on both sentences, which the client later confirmed was his intent with the italicized ‘have’s in both sentences.
(3) I moved a line of internal monologue away from a line of dialogue because having one directly precede or succeed the other can be jarring for readers.
(4) I suggested a slight content tweak with the potential addition of another identifier to give the MC a more noticeable reason for believing the secondary antagonist of the scene came from a wealthy family.
In-Line Notes Summary:
Apart from the aforementioned comments, the In-Line edits I made were to either cut filler and fluff, remove unnecessary passive voice, remove a double tag on a line of dialogue, or otherwise give a sense of clarity and flow to the manuscript to heighten the authorial voice.
Copyediting Sample:
Comments Labeled 1-6 (Top to Bottom)
(1) The document was not in Modern Manuscript Format. I adjusted the font, the paragraph spacing, and the initial indent to correct it.
(2) The client used two juxtaposed styles of listing information in a sentence. I felt it more prudent to provide consistency in this case because it streamlined the sentence’s flow.
(3) While technically grammatically correct, this comment was a toss-up. In dialogue, you are allowed a certain amount of rope to bend grammar rules that imply the speaker’s dialect, class, education, etc.. I chose to add the comma and advised the client to decide whether to keep it or not based on how he perceived the character.
(4) I replaced a double dash with an em dash for grammatical clarity. The double dash is how you create an em dash in Word, likely making this a font issue with Courier New (the old typeface).
(5) The use of a proper noun struck me as strange, as the name of a duchy being The Duchy sounded odd. I pointed it out to the client.
(6) Words typed or otherwise printed within a story need to be italicized.
In-Line Notes Summary:
Apart from the aforementioned comments, the In-Line edits I made were to either provide clarity or fix grammar errors.